COPYRIGHT RESTRICTIONS
This book has been edited
in ewriting style to improve
internet readability.
You may download a copy
for personal use.
Permission to reprint or
distribute any part of this book
for commercial use is denied.
For a free personal use copy
call 1-800 School3
Parts of this material
were first published and
copyrighted in 1978
by Accelerated Schools.
Copyright was renewed
in 1995 and 2001.
----------------------
GIFTED AND TALENTED
Gifted and talented children
represent one of the most
interesting challenges
at Accelerated Schools.
Our Track III programs
are designed specifically
to take advantage
of the abilities of these children.
We have flexibility
within our curriculums
to provide challenge and success
for each of these children.
Once the gifted child
has been identified
it is essential to take advantage
of the vigorous growth possible.
To leave the child within the
confines of a typical class
would probably interfere
with that child's long term
intellectual development.
It is very easy to turn
these children away from learning
for a lifetime.
Intellectually gifted children
can easily become bored
if left in traditional classrooms.
They then become discipline problems.
The individualized tracking
at Accelerated Schools allow us
to provide many options
to meet the child's needs.
In our setting the gifted child
can complete high level projects
while other children
are working on basic skills.
No one is singled out or
separated from the group.
There is a wide range
of skills in each of the groups.
The gifted child can feel
part of the class and not be someone
who has been given a favored status.
This could easily be the kiss of death
from a social standpoint.
Children who are bright and creative
can be free thinkers
within a highly structured 555 system.
They will benefit by learning
to participate with
their chronological age group.
Accelerated Schools is concerned
about boy/girl relationships
and psychological development.
The gifted children must have
extra opportunities
for emotional growth in order
to use their extraordinary minds
more effectively.
Without the extra opportunities
for growth they can
become terrific performers
with a startling repertoire
but have difficulty developing
into well-rounded persons.
The gifted child
may have a social handicap.
The world views too much success
with jealousy and
withholds privileges from people
who are successful.
Many people find it hard
to be natural with
extremely smart or rich people.
Too much beauty or intelligence
can make a child feel defensive.
One of the common fears
expressed by parents
is that their child will be
too bright or too smart
in our society.
Parents are aware of the jealousy
that can be experienced
by superior children.
Children who can do
excellent academic work
many times learn to be
rude and seemingly uncaring.
Some are sarcastic
and antagonistic.
Such actions are compensatory
behaviors they must use
if they are excluded
from their normal social group
because of their superior abilities.
Accelerated emphasizes
academic behaviors and
the opportunity to conform.
The gifted child needs
to be able to conform.
This child needs the safety
of group codes and antagonisms
that are part of adolescent growth.
Gifted children are sometimes
inappropriately manipulative.
Some learn to dominate
conversations inappropriately
with both peers and adults.
Parents who encourage or reinforce
this behavior too early
may find the child very difficult
to handle at a later date.
Watch out when gifted children
speak like adults.
Carefully answer their questions.
Try not give them more
attention than appropriate
for a child of the same
chronological age.
Too much attention
will reinforce
the manipulative behavior.
Adults have always been uneasy
about gifted children
who escape their control.
Theoretically
that's what the adults should want
for every young person growing up.
Elaborate regulations
and prohibitions can create
massive difficulties
in the child's development.
A parent prompted by unconscious fears
can easily create a climate
that is hostile and unloving.
This is a disaster
for the child who should be
supported
Parents and teachers have
to remember that gifted children
are still just children.
They have difficulty growing up
in spite of their tremendous
intellectual capacity.
Too often
people are intimidated
by a gifted child.
When responded to inappropriately
the child is trained
to be defensive.
Such defensiveness
can cause serious problems
in the gifted child's life.
Parents and teachers
expressing surprise and approval
can reinforce too much vertical growth
in the child's strongest area.
We normally respond
with great approval
when children excel in sports.
We do the same for children
who read or speak very well.
This same child may be very average
in other areas such as
math or science subjects.
The high level of approval
the child receives from their
special strengths
may limit high development
in other areas.
The other areas could also provide
substantial successes.
The teacher of the gifted child
has the task of introducing the child
to other knowledge and ways of thinking
that the child might not find alone.
We need to encourage the child
to explore and find areas
that will balance the intellectual growth.
For example
a child whose strength is in music
may enjoy parallel studies
in mathematics or scientific subjects.
The rhythms of sports
or design in architecture
may be complimentary
areas of study.
-------------------
HYPERACTIVE
ATTENTION DEFICIT
DISORDER (A.D.D.)
Thousands of "learning disabled"
have been enrolled
at Accelerated Schools.
Over 99% have been able
to reach the goals specified
by their parents.
Children succeeded when parents
systematically followed
the procedures in "Winning Systems."
Many students who are labeled
learning disabled are prescribed
medication.
Almost all were taken off their
medication after a period of success.
because it was no longer needed.
A few had to be kept on medication.
If the parents really
followed the "Winning System"
the medication was seldom necessary.
Most of the hyperactive symptoms
were reduced substantially.
As a reward management professional
I have learned to see
the hyperactivity problem
primarily as a compensating behavior.
Hyperactivity
is an easily learned behavior
that with built-in immediate rewards
that maintain it.
Our society usually rewards
quick
unusual
inquisitive
talkative
and undesirable behaviors
with immediate attention.
These behaviors are similar
to those of many bright children
whom we usually reward.
Society rewards talkative children
with a little more latitude
in their responsibilities.
The hyperactive child
may learn to be argumentative
and get around the requirements
of assigned tasks.
The hyperactive child
may not use good behaviors long enough
to master basic concepts.
This eventually catches up
with the student academically.
Once this child is aware
of the deficiency
the child may act
even more hyperactive
to avoid discovery.
There is a subconscious game
called "I'll act hyperactive."
Parents reinforce this game
by backing off
of their requirements
for the child.
It is very similar
to the games of "I'm retarded"
"I'm emotionally disturbed"
"I'm lazy"
or "I'm tired"
Children play these games
to avoid specific tasks
and responsibilities.
Behaviorally the "Hyper" child
is a master at training parents:
To apologize for the child's behavior
To reduce the child's responsibilities
To shorten study time
To cut out chores and responsibilities
To make excuses for the child.
To play special games with the child.
Being "Hyperactive" or ADD
like some other labels
is a fashionable excuse
for underachievement.
What has worked
with hyperactive children?
The "Winning System" formula:
a.
A structured
successful environment.
b.
Carefully prescribed remediation
to eliminate deficits.
c.
Positive reinforcement
for on-task effort
and for improvement.
-----------------
A DISCUSSION OF
INEFFECTIVE PROCEDURES
WHY PUNISHMENT DOESN'T WORK
For a long time now
a major argument has been waged
between many parents
and some experts.
The question:
Should parents use punishment
as a major method
of child management?
Like most arguments
this one is predicated
on a wealth
of emotional misinformation
transmitted by both sides.
Let's take a look at punishment.
What does it do?
What are the
effects on both parents
and children?
Punishment and discipline
are not one and the same thing.
No one will dispute that all
children need discipline
but punishment is merely one kind
of discipline.
It operates by providing discomfort
or deprivation as a consequence
of a child's undesirable behavior.
Why is punishment
such a popular means of discipline?
Punishment is simple.
It's usually no more
than an on-the-spot defensive reflex
on the part of the parents.
It has historical justification
in the Old Testament and
in the memories of most parents.
It does suppress
some undesirable behavior
at least temporarily.
Each new and usually harsher
form of punishment
seems to work briefly.
Then the novelty wears off
or the child learns
to tolerate it.
It does relieve tension and anxiety
that the misbehavior aroused
in the parent.
The assumption behind punishment
is not complicated either.
If a given action leads
to an unpleasant consequence
the child will cease the action.
Unfortunately
there are two things wrong here.
Punishment doesn't
work very well and
it has some unfortunate side effects.
What kind of side effects?
Punishment produces
three negative reactions
in the child: fear
guilt
and shame.
The threat of punishment
can produce fear in the child.
Fear creates anger
and an unconscious desire
to get even.
The child may become afraid
of the results of any activity
and withdraw.
Punishment for a failure
to do something right can lead
to feelings of guilt and shame.
Not measuring up
to parental expectations.
is discouraging.
Guilt and shame
are powerful motivators.
Television commercials
use them all the time.
Television demonstrates
the consequences of getting caught
and not the action itself.
-----------------
WHY PERMISSIVENESS DOESN'T WORK
Punishment is certainly no panacea
to curb undesirable behavior
in children.
In fact
it's not a very good treatment
at all.
But what is the alternative?
Should you let children get away
with anything they set their minds
to do?
A half century ago
America was completing
its rural-to-urban changeover.
Psychologists and educators
noticed that children
were not developing
in the same way their parents had.
They seemed to have little respect
for their elders.
There was a disregard for
rules and laws
and an increasing tendency
toward juvenile crime.
Urban kids ignored rules and laws
and committed crimes more often
than had been common in the past.
Naturally enough
the perplexed public asked "why?"
To some child experts on child behavior
the answers seemed obvious.
The old societally-enforced
parent monarchies
were simply too restrictive
for intellectually curious children.
The rigid hierarchy
imposed by the old structures
tended to bind children
in mental and emotional prisons.
"Let your children learn," they said.
"Give them their head
to seek and to experiment
with their physical and
mental environment.
Since humans are rational beings
their children must be likewise."
These experts advocated a switch
from the needs of society
to a reliance on the individual
desires of the child.
As one might suspect
the permissiveness doctrine
left a few questions unanswered.
Q.
What if one child's desires conflicted
with those of another person?
Shouldn't societal needs still be met?
The real world has never
tolerated total fulfillment
of everybody's -- or anybody's --
desires.
Children have to learn
somewhere along the way
to cope with the occasional denial
of their wishes.
Therein lay the great weakness
of the permissiveness system.
It didn't teach the child
to accept frustration
and frustration
is an integral part of a full life.
In other words
permissiveness prepared a child
for an idealistic world
in which the child
could never live.
Such a world simply does not exist
and never will.
Conflict is a fact of life
and children must be raised
to be able
to deal with such realities.
Both of the extremes
of punishment and permissiveness
fail to deal with the world
in which the child must
one day live independently.
In that world the child must
make creative decisions
face a multitude of problems
and experience joy and sorrow.
Punishment and permissiveness
are the black and white
of child raising techniques.
Both of them train children
to fit into a world
that their parents and teachers
think ought to exist.
Isn't that organizing
child-raising and educational systems
a little bit backwards?
Shouldn't we be raising kids
for the world that really exists?
---------------------
PUNISHMENT AND NAGGING
You can't allow your children
to train you
to nag and hassle.
If parents allow children
to nag and hassle them
the children will use
the same behaviors
on other children.
They will probably also use
the same nag and hassle treatment
on their teachers and school friends.
This will result in rejection
for their unacceptable behavior.
Nagging works sometimes.
The effect of such
bothersome techniques
is deceiving.
It's like the reinforcing slot machine
that gets you
to keep pulling the handle.
It gives you a grudging few nickels
every few tries and
an occasional jackpot
every 100 or 200 tries.
Of course your children
nag and hassle you and others
for the exact same reason.
It does work sometimes.
Warn before yelling or nagging.
There's nothing wrong with a
prompt.
But be careful
of too much admonishment.
You can remind your child
that the wastebasket must be emptied
if your prompt comes
after the time for task completion.
Avoid generalized statements.
-You never follow instructions.
-You always.
-You're irresponsible.
Talk about what your child did
not what kind of person
your child "is."
Remember
it is the behavior you dislike
and disapprove of
not your child.
When counseling
make sure your child knows
you are simply inquiring for facts
because you are concerned
about the problem being discussed.
Punishment
Many parents and children
are caught up
in a hopeless battle of wills.
Many parents use punishment
until the child becomes too old
to respond as expected.
Punishment forces inconsistency
because we promise a lot more
punishment than we deliver.
Each new punishment becomes less
effective the longer it is used.
A punishment usually works
one or more times.
Because of this success
parents tend to repeat it several times
until it has lost its effectiveness.
Children motivated by fear
guilt or shame learn
to evaluate all their behavior
in terms of possible pain
instead of possible gain.
Mild punishment can cause
a temporary suppression of behavior
that can be observed
but the punishment usually has
to be repeated frequently.
Perhaps most significant
punishment loses virtually
all its effect through repetition.
Humans can adapt
to virtually any unpleasant situation
if they have to.
Punishment must be
continually escalated
to remain effective.
Here are some examples.
Lecture children and soon
they will learn not to listen.
So the parent tries
withholding privileges
such as television or ice cream.
The child learns
that there are other things
that can be done.
So the parent switches
to corporal punishment
to attain the same results.
Ultimately there is nothing
the parent can do at all
short of damaging
the child physically.
Control is lost.
The parent has now
become inconsistent
because the promised punishment
is really too harsh to deliver.
Wouldn't it work better
to reward what children can do
rather than threatening punishment
if they don't perform?
---------------------
THE USE OF "TIME OUTS"
INSTEAD OF PUNISHMENT
As previously stated
punishment usually
has bad side-effects.
Here are a couple of examples
of those side effects
and a proven alternative
endorsed by many psychologists.
Other children may watch
your child get spanked.
Your child tries
to act very brave and refuses
to cry.
Your child learns
to tolerate an increasing
level of pain.
Your child tries
to get back at you
by being sullen and unfriendly
for the next few hours.
"Time out" is a real alternative
to punishment.
In other days
this was called "Sending Jane
to her room."
Today you must be careful.
Our affluent economy
has equipped many bedrooms so well
that it's really fun
to be confined there.
Perhaps there is a TV
or there are
books and toys
with which to play.
As an alternative
empty another room.
Assign the child there
for 2 to 5 minutes at a time.
Tell the child
to come out when the time is up.
Don't tell the child "stay there
until I call you,"
or "Stay there until you're sorry."
You may forget
the child is on time out and
then you will feel guilty.
Don't give time outs
that are longer than 2
to 5 minutes.
The real value of time out
is in the first two minutes
the child spends there.
That is enough time
to "simmer down."
The absence of rewards or
other stimuli
has already had its effect.
A short time out is FAIR and
your child knows it.
Try it.
A short time out
works just as well as a long one.
If the child resists a time out
you must persist.
If time outs last
less than five minutes
you won't have much problem
with this.
A long time out turns into punishment
rather than a simple behavior
control device.
If your child won't take the time out
it will be much better
if you take a "parent's time out"
by yourself.
If necessary
take the other children with you
if they are not the instigators
of the problem.
I have no evidence that a
short time out has ever been harmful
if used as I've suggested here.
Long time outs can have severe
psychological consequences.
DON'T USE THEM!
CAUTION: If your child
has a long history
of tantrums or refusals
you may need a bare room
with nothing in it of value
that can be torn up.
Empty a room of interesting objects
and use it for time outs.
-------------
UNDERSTANDING THE MOTIVATIONS OF STUDENTS
"ABSENCE OF REWARD"
MOTIVATES UNDERACHIEVING STUDENTS
Underachievers are highly motivated.
Students with academic deficits
have usually tried very hard
to solve their problems.
Unfortunately
a high percentage of the time
they have experienced failure
rather than success
on the tasks they attempted.
It's much easier
to say "I didn't try" or "I'm lazy"
than to attempt
to perform tasks when they think
they will fail again.
Yes
they will try again
after appropriate counseling
and encouragement.
But they must have the skills
to be immediately
and continuously successful at a task
or they will quickly stop trying.
Each time they fail specific tasks
they become harder
to "motivate" and eventually
may become "unteachable"
by normal means.
Absence of rewards and praise
motivates the child
to use inappropriate behavior
to get attention.
The under-performing child is living
with an "absence of reward."
Parents and teachers try
to do the right thing.
They are usually careful
to withhold negative comments.
But the child cannot help noticing
that successful children
are constantly "approved of" and
recognized in countless ways
for their positive behaviors.
The caring parents
of an underachieving child
at best are silent
not disapproving.
Because of this
the child must live in an atmosphere
where there is an "absence of reward."
The parent does everything
to avoid putting the child down.
But because of the child's
low achievement level
it is impossible for the child
to receive as many social rewards
as the successful student.
The child is not consciously aware
of the "absence of reward."
But s/he needs love and attention
as much as the normal child.
This child may turn
to inappropriate behaviors
to get a substitute form
of love and attention.
Those substitute behaviors
are many times very undesirable
and cause us to criticize the child.
But that child must use
inappropriate behaviors
to get attention if lack of skill level
prevents using more acceptable ways.
The "absence of reward"
is often overlooked.
It is a common cause
of inappropriate behavior.
For example
An underachieving child sitting quietly
is often taken for granted
and receives a much lesser degree
of approval and recognition
in every facet of life.
This child will eventually change
to inappropriate behavior
to gain recognition.
Average or above-average students
know how to manage their parents
in acceptable ways.
They are manipulative
in a socially acceptable way.
They receive many privileges and
considerations without parents
giving it much thought.
We often extend comforting open arms
to them in the most subtle
and casual of ways.
Underachieving children
cannot tell you
what they are missing.
But they feel that desperate need
for some form of recognition.
These children perform
every behavior imaginable.
When they fail to get enough reward
for good behavior they must turn
to inappropriate behaviors
to get a higher level of attention.
In the process of avoiding failure
children find out they can get
out of doing work as well.
So now you have two
very strong reasons
why your child may be acting lazy
or performing any other
unacceptable behavior.
Dropping out of school
means the child may
drop out of everything.
This child is going down the
drain.
Choices of life styles
and other opportunities
will be severely limited.
There is much the parent can do.
If you want to get
your child to achieve
you must take
the responsibility of control.
Parents must
be in the driver's seat.
If your child gets money from you
you have power over your child.
Parents must quit paying
for underachievement.
Parents must turn
the game around
and restack the rewards
on the side of good
performance and cooperation.
Children live up
to their parents' expectations.
Expect your children
to be losers
and they will be losers.
-----------------
HIGHLY VERBAL PARENTS?
WATCH OUT!
TOO MUCH TALK CAN
BACKFIRE.
VERBAL PITFALLS
The negative attention you give
while catching your child losing
may well become a reward
to your child.
Ignoring losing behaviors
to the greatest extent possible
will help reduce their frequency
over an extended period of time.
Show your child how
to be a winner consistently
socially rewarding your child
for "winning" behaviors.
The more often and consistently
you review and reward
your child's winning behaviors
the more often and more consistently
your child will repeat those
same winning behaviors.
What do you do
when a child enjoys
being nagged or punished?
You must delay your response.
Rapid-fire responding
of any kind to a child
who nags or hassles
will result in an increase
of the nagging or hassling behavior.
Highly verbal parents
must limit their discussion
It's especially important
for parents with high-level verbal skills
to be careful
not to accidentally reinforce
behavior that they would like
to reduce.
If you answer your student's questions
rapidly and enter into rapid-fire
give and take discussion
with the student
you will inadvertently
reinforce much more
inappropriate behavior.
Highly verbal parents
must be very careful
to make sure that they
do not respond immediately
to inappropriate behavior.
Since this is
what the student wants,
it will train
undesirable forms of behavior.
If you're having a hard time
delaying your response,
take a "parent's time-out."
The basic rule of time-outs is
that you don't
talk or interact with anyone.
Usually you immediately
turn and leave the room.
Go to the bedroom
read
watch a TV show
listen to the radio
sew
etc.
To say "I'm not speaking to you"
would be a put-down and might
cause more inappropriate behavior.
You can teach your student
that when you say:
"I'm going on a parent's time-out
for ten minutes"
it simply means you
are "overloaded" and are going
to hold everything in abeyance
for awhile.
Children learn that
you will take no action
during that time-out.
Parent's time-outs are
a unilateral security rule
that you can consistently apply.
The student cannot by normal means
force you to interact or
escalate an argument.
Parent's time-outs can be lengthy
10 or 15 minutes
even an hour
if you need it
to regain your composure
and plan your next move.
Time outs for children
must be short in order
to get rapid compliance.
(2 to 5 minutes maximum.)
It will make it easier
to get your student
to take "time-outs",
if you set the example
of "going on parent time-outs"
several times before telling them
to "go take a two minute time-out."
Many psychologists and counselors
advise parents to talk over their
problems with the student.
Be careful you don't
discuss too much.
Sometimes it is important
to discuss new problems
and let someone who has
taken advantage of you
know how you feel.
If after repetitive discussions
of a problem or similar problems
there are no positive effects
the discussions should be dropped.
Repetitive conversations including
criticism and expressions
of unfulfilled wishes
contribute to a negative self-image.
The student may be provoking you
into negative criticism
to get some exclusive time
and attention from you.
It's hard to believe
that the child would force the parent
into this hassling position.
A child failing to get
their parent's attention
with desired performance will try
inappropriate behaviors.
If the highly verbal
and rapid responding parent
realizes what is going on
a great deal can be done.
You can increase the student's
sense of security
by delaying critical responses.
Analyze the questions
and demands the child is making.
If they have repeatedly resulted
in a problem in the past
stop your response for now.
If after a few hours
you are quite sure
that the student has not heard or
understood your instruction
then give the student
further instructions.
Instruct rather than criticize
the child.
If you're not sure
that your student understands
what you are trying to teach
plan your words carefully.
Deliver them in a matter-of-fact
and friendly fashion.
This has a positive effect
on your student.
----------------------
THE SUPER-CONTROLLER STUDENT
Some students learn
to do refusals
of a very serious
and uncooperative nature.
They have learned
to intimidate or threaten parents
even to the point of violence
to get their way.
Most of the children we observe
with this problem
are children in a family
where at least one parent
is extremely verbal.
The highly verbal person
in our society is usually a very
manipulative person.
The students being manipulated
by verbal commentary
must maintain some form of control
over their life.
The students copy
the same manipulative techniques
used by parents
to their parents great dismay.
The end result is that students
and parents lock horns
a high percentage of the time.
The highly verbal parent agonizes
with the student
over a wide range
of imperfect behaviors.
The student being criticized
must use an effective means
to control the situation.
It is important to understand
that these students are hooked
on the rapid-fire response
from highly verbal parents.
Parents can get better control
with silence.
The highly verbal parent can control
the super-controlling student
if the parent delays the response
to this behavior.
If the highly verbal parent
is unwilling to delay the response
it may well be impossible
for anyone to teach the student.
When the parent delays a response
the parent is able
to take time to calculate
the possible negative effects
of the response.
Once you give your response
a second thought
you may decide
to modify or change that response.
You may decide to respond
in exactly the same way
as you initially did.
The important thing
is to make sure that you have removed
the immediacy of the response.
I am not suggesting
that you delay your response
if the student is ready
to inflict self-injury or injury
to someone else.
It is your responsibility
to act immediately
to prevent damage
to the student.
I am only talking about
delaying a negative response
to "inappropriate" verbal and
physical behavior from the student.
Highly verbal parents can feel free
to compliment their children
whenever they have done
the right thing.
------------------
THE STUDENT WHO WANTS
TO BE CAUGHT DOING WRONG
This is really getting down
to the "nitty-gritty."
You'd think a student would try
to avoid confrontation and nagging.
You'd think they hate
name calling and put-downs.
You'd be surprised
at how many students
force their parents
to these extreme acts.
Why?
Somewhere along the line
the student has determined
that good behavior
doesn't give enough immediate attention.
So the student uses bad behavior
to get attention or solicit punishment.
This is really tough
to say to parents
but it's something they need to hear.
At a certain point
in your relationship
with your child
you "just can't be nice any more".
They have tested your limit.
They have asked
for more than you can give.
At this point
rather than backing off
they increase the intensity
of their demands.
If they can't get
a positive response
they would rather provoke
negative comments.
Examples to watch out for:
Child has repeatedly stolen
from parents or relatives.
Child has repeatedly gotten
inebriated and come home
before getting sober
to make sure you know it happened.
Child has repeatedly stolen
from stores but consistently
bungled the job to get caught.
Child has repeatedly
played with matches
to the point of causing fires.
Child has repeatedly stolen
the family or stranger's cars
but is usually caught.
Child has repeatedly started
fights with children whose
parents are sure to contact you
causing you to be angry at child.
Child is repeatedly truant
and school authorities
regularly report it to you.
A more elaborate version
is to combine a series of
different kinds of violent
or rebellious acts.
Example:
An absence combined with robbery
and perhaps a fight
or auto accident.
The normal parent reaction
is dismay and embarrassment.
Why has this happened?
What have I done
to deserve this?
How can you do this
to me?
All the discussions are
more attention than has
been given to this child.
Don't jump to conclusions.
There may be specific reinforcers
desirable enough to keep
the student from some behaviors.
Are bad behaviors followed by
attention and/or punishments?
It's possible that your child
is getting more attention or
reinforcement for bad behavior
than for good.
Parents must stop
these topsy-turvy approaches.
Why?
When manipulation works
on parents the child may try it
on the rest of the world.
The normal world
won't accept the approach.
The child will meet rejection
that will throw him or her
back into the parent's lap.
The pattern of soliciting criticism
usually continues to escalate
with more unacceptable acts
ever harsher punishments.
The most serious punishments
can only be delivered
by the authorities.
But will that do any good?
How do you stop
attention-getting behavior?
Delay your response.
Remember
negative comments or punishments
are the sought rewards.
If you continue responding
to bad behavior
you will only increase it.
Delay your responses
until you're sure
you're not reinforcing
these violent acts.
---------------
BUILD SECURITY
WITH UNILATERAL RULES.
Security is a basic need.
Psychological stress causes
many students to become unsure
of their eventual position
or acceptance at work.
Worries about social acceptance
can short-circuit learning.
Losing a parent
through divorce or death
can cause distraction
and unreceptiveness.
Overstressed students may
miss out on important concepts
causing failure.
Students need the security
of knowing where they stand
with their parents.
Students need to know
how a parent will react
to various circumstances.
They need to know
that you mean what you say.
If the parent's behavior
is very consistent
the student feels very
comfortable and secure.
If they feel secure at school
they will be in a better position
to handle living situations
effectively.
The complexity of our world
and the pressure of work and
activities can be very intense.
Parents often
break their own rules
for convenience sake.
Many parents set up rules
that are easily broken
and consequently
destined to fail.
The wrong kind of rules
may teach the student that
it pays to break rules.
For example:
"I want you to stay home
and not go to play
with the neighbor kids
until I come home from work."
(The child cannot be easily
supervised and so learns to lie.)
Often we will enforce our rules
by threatening punishment.
Children test us
forcing us to punish
or back down.
Most of the time we back down
because our threat was too harsh.
This inconsistency
cuts down the student's
sense of security.
All students test the rules
occasionally.
They take great comfort
and feel more secure
when the rules don't change.
I suggest establishing
a limited number of controllable
unilateral rules.
Plan some one-sided rules
that the student CANNOT manipulate
or break.
Plan one-sided rules
that can only be broken
by the parent.
One-sided rules work very well
to establish predictability
in the student's life.
They make enforcing other
two-sided rules easier
when the time comes.
Here are some one-sided rules
which you can always use:
I will ignore nagging
even if I have
to leave the room
and shut the door.
I will "delay my response"
when I am angry.
(This control device effectively
leaves the student off balance
and unsure of poor behavior.)
(You can respond later
when you're sure your response
will not reinforce negative behavior.)
I will review your successes
each day.
I will reward you every day
for what you did right.
(Socially and monetarily
or preferably both.)
I will smile every morning
when I first meet you.
I will consistently be willing
to talk over problems with you
after you've done your work.
I will stop what I'm doing
to talk with you for 5 or 60
minutes after school.
For working parents:
I will sit down and talk with you
for 5 to 60 minutes when I get home
(before T.V. or starting dinner
or chores etc.).
Remember that if you're tired
so is your child.
Make sure
your child feels secure.
--------------------
BUILD SECURITY
BY SCHEDULING
PREDICTABLE EVENTS
DAILY REVIEWS
Daily review and recording
student's good behavior is
a rule you can be consistent about.
Parents can set
a specific time each day
when they positively review
the student's performance.
If reviews are conducted in an
atmosphere of interest and concern
students shortly learn parents'
considerations.
The togetherness ensures
that some warmth and appreciation
are expressed each day.
By reviewing the student daily
the parent creates a one-sided
(unilateral) "security-rule".
The rules can go a long way
toward helping the student
feel more self-confident.
Remember:
Be quick to praise and
slow to criticize.
The more predictable your review
the more likely
the behaviors you review
will be performed.
When your review becomes irregular
so may the behaviors.
(If you can't do the review at home
do it over the phone from work.)
Important points
The short daily review
develops the necessary channels
for positive verbal
and non-verbal communication.
Winning Systems
teaches your student how
to live in our society.
It teaches the habits
of using social and mental skills
to meet life's challenges.
Providing the social rewards
for "winning" behaviors shows
the student how to be a winner.
Frequent and consistent reviewing
of "winning" behaviors produces
more frequent and consistent
behavior.
--------------------
ADDITIONAL
RESPONSIBILITIES
Build security by finding ways
to give your student
more responsibility and experience.
Parents can do
something like this
for their student.
Parents can invent
small job descriptions
for their students.
Parents should spend time
defining limits
and responsibilities of a job.
Analyze new experiences
your student is going
to have to face.
Break them down
into component parts.
List the component parts
of their duties in advance.
This way they know
what they are being held
accountable for.
Let the student experience success
with each component
before tackling the entire experience.
Don't crush the student's
self-confidence when they
make small mistakes
Look for tasks
that are more easily completed.
The student will take pride
in new accomplishments.
Here are some suggestions.
Pre-school age:
Put away toys
Make own bed
Vacuum room
Button clothing
Select own clothing
within your guidelines
Follow own grooming habit list.
Elementary age:
Repaint damaged toys or furniture
Have own house key
Select the food for a meal
Buy the food for a meal
Order for the family
in a restaurant
Take the bus
to a friend's house.
Junior high age:
Make dinner reservations
Repaint the garage or fence
Take a vacation alone
Select and purchase own clothing.
---------------------
BUILD SECURITY
Give your student reasonable
contracts clearly stated
or written
Parents can help their students
select and master knowledge
in a limited area.
By dividing the task
into component parts
they will ensure
their student's gradual success.
They will also bolster
the student's feeling of security
from the accomplishment.
Family rules should be
clearly stated.
Too many hassles arise when
guidelines for cooperation aren't
specified in advance.
Parents need to decide exactly how
they expect their children to act
in commonly recurring situations.
The student needs
to be told the rules in advance
and then held to those rules.
If the parents
don't agree on the rules
they must compromise
and support the compromise.
If a rule is not enforced
consistently and fairly
the student will learn
to test all the rules.
This rapidly becomes frustrating
to cope with.
(Be careful -- if the consequences
of non-performance are too harsh
you won't enforce them.
The student will be faced
with more inconsistency
on your part.)
----------------------
ADMONISHMENT
CAUTION:
Be careful of admonishment.
Saying "try harder"
may further defeat your student.
Many times we use words intended
to spur students on their own.
If your student's skills are low
it's an "unfair contract"
to expect performance
without special help.
Only make contracts
where you are 90% sure
the student can do
the work described
in a short period of time.
Leave tougher or less predictable
contracts until AFTER
you have established control
through your "Winning System."
Gain control first.
Don't be greedy.
Your student took many years
to learn to be an under-performer.
Don't try
to reverse it all
within a few weeks.
------------------------------
AVOIDING LIES
Never make a contract
that will teach your student
to lie.
Many of our student contracts
cannot be supervised.
Students learn they
can earn more rewards
or temporary social approval
for slight falsifications.
We all lie in some ways
if only to overstate
and glorify our
personal accomplishments.
Students watch parents'
social falsifications
and attempt to do the same thing.
They learn to tell stories
that benefit them.
An inappropriate contract can
easily lead a student to tell
socially unacceptable lies
that earn parent disapproval.
A "losing"student
may grasp at anything
that will improve acceptance
and self-image.
---------------------
HOW SOME STUDENTS LEARN
TO BE "LONERS"
Some students withdraw from people
when they find there is
little about them that is desirable
or attractive to others.
Once they become convinced
that they will be rejected
they dare not take the risks
of involvement
They shun any involvement
that may end in disappointment.
"Loners" must make every effort
to avoid involvement in group
activities.
Disabled students become
truly isolated.
This isolation may be self-inflicted.
Some bring isolation on themselves
as a protective device.
Lonely students retreat
into solitude and withdrawal.
They fear that being close
to others will expose them
to rejection.
They fear that people will discover
that they are undesirable.
Many loners attempt to find
relief from feelings
of inferiority by putting on
an air of superiority.
They may over-emphasize their
accomplishments.
Doing so makes them feel
more important.
---------------------
WHAT CAN YOU DO
WHEN YOUR CHILD DOES SOMETHING
"REALLY BAD?"
(Violent acts like
stealing or lying.
Perhaps getting busted
for drugs or alcohol.
Running away from home
or staying out late.
You can't do much.
That's why it's so important
to reduce the pressures
that cause explosions
or violent acts.
If something really bad happens
you probably won't be able to find
an equally severe punishment
that you'll be willing
to administer.
The rebellious student may well
act so as to get attention.
If you make too much of the act
the behavior may be repeated
for more attention.
A lot of discussion and agonizing
could be very reinforcing
to a losing student.
The wrong kind of discussion
or confrontation could have
other unwanted side effects.
Public reprimands
provoke retaliation.
A publicly degraded student
must somehow compensate.
What happens next
will usually compound the problem.
The student may
turn the anger inward
and feel even more defeated.
The student may try
to hurt someone else
trying to even the score.
The people most often hurt
are the parents
who watch their child self-destruct
to get more "love and attention."
---------------------
PUBLIC REPRIMAND
PROMOTES LYING.
Lying and concealment
are by-products
of too many confrontations.
The student really
has no alternative.
The student can only lose
if caught.
The student might as well
forestall losing by lying.
Whether or not the student lies
the punishment will likely
be the same.
From previous experience
the student knows
that lying sometimes pays.
If you are suspicious
that your child is acting out
for your attention or that of peers
you may be better off taking
a "keep quiet" approach.
I suggest you ask
for an explanation.
Listen carefully
to the child's explanation
and then state your disapproval
stonily and matter-of-factly.
Walk away and stay away
from the student for a while.
Drop the subject.
Give it no attention.
Concentrate on keeping
your "Winning System" going.
If your system is consistent
the frequency of bad acts should
markedly diminish within a few weeks.
--------------
Winning Systems
FOR ACCELERATED SCHOOLS Chapter 43
"BE RESPONSIBLE" -
IS THIS A FAIR OR UNFAIR CONTRACT?
Many parents ask their children
to take responsibility for their
actions.
Sometimes the child does learn how
to take responsibility.
Sometimes the child learns
to take responsibility.
When parents occasionally succeed
with this tactic
they are reinforced
to try it again.
The success rate of this tactic
is far too low
for us to depend upon.
Many times asking for
too much responsible behavior
has forced us
to catch students losing.
Catching students stealing
lying
drinking
etc.
has caused weeks
of delayed progress
for some students.
In some cases
it has caused them
to withdraw from our environment
before we could help them.
Asking for "responsible" behavior
hasn't worked very well
for parents.
I have a few reasons
to explain why.
Underachieving children
have not had enough successes
to take responsibility.
Asking a student to leap
from receiving reinforcers
for irresponsibility
to embracing responsibility
is too big a jump.
(If you get paid --
in word or deed --
for being a bum
why work?)
Parents must take into consideration
Parents must consider
the need to accomplish
successive approximations
of the end goal.
Responsibility is a foreign word
to someone whose reinforcers
have been primarily awarded
for irresponsibility.
Learning to take responsibility
requires a continuous stream
of small successes
and accomplishments.
We take responsibility
when we are certain
of the outcome.
The student needs
to feel optimistic
about accepting
the next responsibility.
Before given major responsibility
a student must successfully
complete small responsibilities.
Responsibility can only
be learned by experiencing
a continuous stream
of successes.
Make your next requests
for responsibility
very small steps.
Maximize reinforcers
for accomplishing
each new responsibility.
The student usually agrees
to accept responsibility.
The student would like
to follow through.
Unfortunately the short term gain
for being irresponsible
may outweigh the advantage
of being responsible.
Peer approval for crimes
or substance abuse may matter
more than parental disapproval.
Friends who share experiences
and values will often
overshadow parental approval.
---------------------
STEALING FROM PARENTS
Some students
make short term decisions
based on the immediate advantages
of ripping off a parent.
You've heard the phrase
"instant gratification" --
this is it.
The student gets what he or she
perceives is valuable.
Most of the time
the student receives stolen goods
without any prosecution.
No pain PLUS gain -- what a deal!
-----------------
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION
FOR ABUSING
By being abusive
and intolerable around people
the student gets immediate
attention.
This is a lot more attention
than the student was getting
for being quiet
unobtrusive
and conforming.
The squeaky wheel gets more
grease.
Make noise and get a payback;
melt into the scenery
and nothing comes your way.
----------------------
ARGUING
Most parents enjoy a rapid-fire
dialogue and the short-term
confirmations received.
Developmental lag students know how
to give parents confirmation.
They can usually be brought
to the point of repentance and
will promise
to do better.
They cry and act repentant.
They ask for forgiveness.
Students with good timing
are able to extend parental time
beyond the limit
causing the parent
to walk away in disgust.
-------------------
STUDENTS CAN'T BE ALLOWED
TO DROP OUT OF SCHOOL
Most drop-outs have learned
to stay away from school.
At school the student
is regularly defeated
and has little success.
It's no fun losing all the time.
Losing is a very good excuse
for quitting the game.
This student could succeed
with training.
Performing below average
is a learned behavior.
I get concerned when parents say
it's up to the student
to make such an important decision
as dropping out of school.
The student has been trained
that schoolwork is dull and boring.
The student probably
doesn't have many close friends.
If the student
is a low-level achiever
any friends will likely be
other low-achieving students.
Such friends will only
reinforce losing behaviors.
Sometimes students
become so unusual
that their peers exclude them.
After being excluded
the student does not want
to go to school.
The student is punished
by the environment.
You can't just tell this student
to do better.
It doesn't work
to criticize these students
for not living up
to their potential.
More criticism will
compound the problem.
----------------
IMPROVEMENT
IS UNLIKELY
You can't be sure your teenager
will get an education later.
Earning a GED requires
preparation and discipline.
The same efforts
a low-performing dropout
has avoided.
Poorly prepared adults
are unable to cope
with the many responsibilities
Adults say they believe
in the importance of education.
In our experience
less than one adult in ten
that seeks help in the fundamentals
achieves an improved level
of literacy.
The pattern of failure
is simply too ingrained.
--------------------------
INDEPENDENT STUDY
Students who have no interest
in continuing their education
in schools must be taught
to educate themselves.
They need to learn the techniques
the discipline and the habits
of independent study.
-----------------
SELF-EDUCATION
The day is long past
when a person could learn
a trade or specialty
and expect lifetime employment
in that field.
Statistics show
that most people change jobs
every two or three years.
Job changes usually require
substantial new learning
and retraining.
The concept of terminally tracking
a student who is a poor reader
into low-level
vocational training areas
creates many problems.
The poor reader is usually slow
to understand or comprehend
many new jobs.
A limited reading background
severely reduces decision-making
ability.
This slows the ascent
to each new promotional level.
Advancement
into supervisory
and management is unlikely.
This is partly caused by limited
understanding and tolerance
of other ideas and ways of thinking.
----------------------
QUALIFYING FOR
TRADE SCHOOL
The poor learner will likely
be excluded from many unions
and vocational schools.
The learning skills they require
are too high.
(Many vocational schools
require a higher reading ability
than some local colleges.)
Of all people
the poor reader
needs special help
with reading.
The student must be trained
to meet the requirements
of desirable jobs.
-----------------------
ENCOURAGING STUDENTS
TO STAY IN SCHOOL
Here's a counseling procedure
to use with older students
who want to terminate
their education
Parents who really
want their children
to go to school
should pay them
to attend class.
It's an offer
that a reluctant student
just can't refuse.
You're offering them more
"walking around money"
than they would normally receive
through non-contingent gifts.
Offer school and housing
food and money.
The child can continue growing.
That's the minimum offer.
It's much better than
bread and water in solitary
or life on the street.
------------------------
THE BOTTOM LINE
Students must get
living expenses
for going to school.
If you can't get your child
to start back to school
then relax.
You've made a good offer
(school and food
housing and money).
Tell your child
"I'm glad to have you live
with me if you go
to school.
"Here are the privileges and
options you have."
"I've made you a good
offer and I think
you should think about it."
"If you don't think
it's a good offer
tell me what is."
If you take your
time and keep the offer open
you will usually win
over your child.
--------------------
PARENTAL EXPECTATION PROBLEMS
Recent affluent times allow
parents to provide children
with many services
and conveniences.
The result is students have fewer
opportunities to learn
independent survival
and performance skills.
With so many labor-saving devices
in American homes
children have had
fewer work responsibilities.
Occasionally taking out the trash
or cleaning the garage
is about it.
What a contrast
to an earlier period
when all youngsters helped with chores.
Not long ago youngsters helped
with lengthy chores such as
washing clothes
tending the garden
cutting wood
shoveling snow
or caring for younger siblings.
------------------
COMMUNITY DANGERS
We no longer live
in close-knit communities
that would aid
a child in trouble.
Now we live in a world
of mistrustful strangers
who will scream or blow a whistle
if you approach.
Strangers may do hurtful things
to you that they learned in
self-defense class.
Most children are anonymous
in their own neighborhoods.
In earlier times
children were allowed
to walk to their activities.
Now in our metropolitan areas
parents feel they must
transport their children
from one activity to another.
Children have been deprived
of opportunities
to feel successful
on their own.
The result is a reduced expectancy
of success and accomplishment.
--------------------
UNREALISTIC GOALS
Young people
are very unrealistic.
They talk about being successful
in grand terms.
Rock star?
No problem.
Millionaire?
A done deal.
They think fame and fortune
are just waiting for them.
Realistically they are
too inexperienced
with tedious and repetitive tasks
to ensure success when they
strike out on their own.
Too many young people
enter their first jobs
with little understanding of how
to get a job done quickly.
They don't know how
to cooperate with other employees.
Many have severely limited
reading
mathematics
writing and grammar skills.
Minimum wage laws further restrict
opportunities for success
by limiting the number
of available jobs for inexperienced
young people.
We have diverted some of our students
into higher education
to give them time to grow up.
Today a slightly higher percentage
of students complete high school
instead of simply dropping out
to enter a manual work force.
More students go
to college for further
vocational and liberal arts training.
We're seeing a substantial
postponement of responsibility and
eventual success.
The high level of affluence
in our society has a lot
to do with this postponement.
It is easy for parents
to be able to pay the bill and
keep their children
in the home longer.
It's not uncommon
to see young men and women
living in their parents' homes
until they are 18 or 20.
In an earlier day
they might well have entered
the work force at age 13 or 14.
Today's society has become
much more conscious
of academic success
and getting the right job.
Today's young people are
less interested in preparing
for low status vocations
and trades.
Rightly so.
Those jobs represent a declining
proportion of available jobs
in our modern technological society.
--------------------
JOB EXPECTATIONS
Too many young people
enter the job force
with limited comprehension
writing
speaking
and decision-making skills.
UNPREPARED STUDENTS
Most of these young people
think they will get white-collar
high status jobs
some of which are highly lucrative.
(I.e.,
doctor,
lawyer,
merchant,
chief,
dancer,
writer,
composer).
They imagine themselves working
in desirable occupations.
Many white-collar jobs require
academic skills far beyond
the abilities of today's students.
Due to lack of initiative
and decision-making inability
today's poorly trained students
will likely remain on low levels.
They cannot think or work
independently enough to qualify
for middle or upper management.
Parents really want their children
to succeed.
They try to help them do well.
Sometimes they do exactly
the right thing.
Unfortunately
parents sometimes create problems
for their children.
They allow them
to fritter away their youth
rather than seeing that they have
a chance to experience
a continuous stream of successes.
Parents must make sure
their children budget their time
with a balance of study
and play.
Parents must make ensure
that their children become accustomed
to meeting successively higher
performance standards at early ages.
They must make sure
their child has the discipline and
habit of self preparation needed
to meet higher and higher goals.
Students need to accomplish
before they can improve
their self-image.
Untrained students feel hesitant
and lack confidence
in new situations.
They become self-conscious
tense and worried.
They worry about saying and
doing the right thing.
This interferes with trying
new and different projects
thereby limiting
the growth of new skills.
By avoiding making mistakes
they effectively limit
their development.
Students lacking learning skills
and work/study habits
set unrealistically high goals.
What they get instead
is a massive loss of self-esteem.
The solution
Parents must provide students
with a gradually challenging
and successful environment.
Parents can make sure
their students receive challenges
in bite-sized pieces.
Parents can learn
to gradually increase the difficulty
of tasks and responsibilities
They can guarantee their student
a chance to learn necessary
academic skills for continuous
progress and success.
As students mature
parents expect
higher and higher performance.
Without the development
of a work habit
parents become frustrated
and critical of their students.
The students initially try
to meet these expectations
but without appropriate
developmental training
they fail to succeed.
They can become frustrated
and use a wide variety
of unacceptable behaviors
to avoid taking on new tasks.
This creates a vicious circle.
Increasingly frustrated parents
lower expectations and gradually
decrease the level of approval.
All too often the parent
"lets the student off the hook"
and withdraws in disappointment.
The result is severe rejection
and limited approval
in the student's life.
Since the student is obviously
not functioning at a high level
the parent finds little
to be happy about.
The parent soon concludes
that the student will have
to settle for lesser goals
and limited possibilities.
The parent's response that
the student will be unsuccessful
blocks the student from opportunities
for accomplishment.
Academic success is not a guarantee
of success as an adult
but it is a predictor.
Early academic success predicts
ability to cope with new tasks
they will later encounter as adults.
Parents can begin
by making sure
that students learn appropriate
study habits in early grades.
Students must know how to learn
so they can feel the pleasure
of gaining new knowledge.
Students must be taught
to teach themselves
so that they learn multiple ways
of coping with new assignments.
Parents can ensure
solid mastery of reading
mathematics and language
by the time their children
leave elementary school.
Failure to correct any difficulty
will leave the student unprepared
to cope with the requirements
of higher education.
Students are interested in learning
unless their experience with it
forces them into failure.
Our society rewards displays
of skill in thousands of subtle ways.
The media constantly bombards
students with images of rewards
given for knowledge
technical skills
and high performance of all kinds.
Your students want
to succeed the same way.
Given enough skills
to master the small steps
in the developmental chain
they will grow
to succeed and meet your
objectives for them.
Some parents' expectations
must be deferred temporarily
until the student is equal or superior
to the expectations of our society.
It is extremely important
that parents understand
the amount of time necessary
for their student
to make this shift.
They shouldn't have
unrealistic expectations.
Parents must reduce the pressures
temporarily until the students
can meet their expectations.
Insufficient training
produces students
who cannot read well.
Students with a substantial
developmental lag find
that many work requirements
are beyond their level.
They avoid difficult tasks
thereby perpetuating some forms
of the initial developmental lag.
Too often parents reduce
long-term expectations and place
students in classes which permanently
reduce expectations.
In the long run
this creates further problems.
Many parents have placed
their children in special school
after special school.
They continually hope
for some kind of miracle to occur.
Our school is not
a miracle-making institution.
But it does accomplish
rapid developmental change
for almost all students who attend
for an appropriate length of time.
The remedial process
must also meet the expectations
of the student.
Allowing the parent
to schedule the classes
on an intermittent basis
delays the realization
of their expectations.
It defers the time
when the child can be perceived
in a new and more successful way.
Delaying student training
may seriously interfere
with the otherwise possible
change in parental expectations.
If the parent's attitudes
have not changed
instruction should be continued
until the parent's attitudes
are substantially modified.
Once students are receiving
appropriate reinforcement
from the parents and are able
to be competitive with their peers
they are likely
to continue the new behaviors.
Once the student has accomplished
these the necessary objectives
special help may be reduced or
eliminated.
--------------------
STUDENTS CAN'T
BE ALLOWED
TO AVOID READING !!!
Too much academic and social future
depends upon how much the student
has or will read.
A strong motivation system
that will ensure quantity reading
is absolutely essential
in the non-reader's life.
I'm not saying that being well-read
will solve all the problems
your child might discover and face.
But it could probably do more
to prepare them for life
than any other single skill.
(See chapters entitled
"The Case for Independent Study
and Reading" and "How You
Can Help Plan Independent Study
Projects.")
-------------------
EARLY DETECTION
OF PROBLEMS
IS ESSENTIAL.
The earlier a specific learning
problem can be identified
the better.
Most experts agree it is
equally as serious to be
6 months behind in second grade
as 2 years behind in eight.
Surveys have shown that
a child allowed to drop
one year behind in a subject
will annually increase the deficit
by one-half year until corrected.
Early diagnosis and correction
of these problems
can stop the child
from falling farther behind.
If the problems are not corrected
the student will usually
drop out or be pushed out
of the school system
in a later grade.
--------------------
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
A review of intervention procedures.
Once you have
recognized the problem
parents can make changes
to solve the problems.
The quick way:
Enroll your child
at Accelerated Schools
to make a dramatic change
in the student's ability and
self-image level.
Set up the "Winning System"
immediately.
You can do a lot
to make up for "missed successes
over the years."
Share this book
with your child's teacher.
You must change
the teacher's concept
that "your child is a loser
and will never change."
Show your interest
by monthly visitations
to your child's teachers.
Limit each visit
to one or two minutes.
(Do not criticize the teacher
or the visit will backfire.
Keep your comments
positive and hopeful.)
Many parents have
little involvement
with a school.
Discuss what is working well
for your child.
Let the teacher know
you are rewarding your child.
Request extra assignments
for your child to accomplish.
Arrange for additional
psychological advice if necessary.
(Find someone who can agree
with the positive concepts
in this book.)
Don't accept any long delays
in solving the problem.
Even severe cases are solvable
within a few months.
Expect to see positive changes
every week.
(You'll have
to keep charts or records
to measure progress.)
When is it too late?
Don't let your child continue
to be a loser any longer
than necessary.
The psychological damage
of continued losing
may be irreversible
within a few months.
"Maybe next semester will be better"
or "Wait till the next report card"
is unlikely to stop the losing.
Don't procrastinate.
Don't put it off.
The time to act is now!
--------------------
YOUR INFLUENCE
You have only a few years
in which to influence
your child's future.
A parent's influence
drops dramatically
as years go by.
Can you remember
how your parents' influence
dropped with you?
Can you remember thinking
that your parents
were complete idiots?
--------------------
Link to Meaning Searches 1
To enroll or receive more information,
fill in the form below and click the submit button.
You may also write or call for information at:
ACCELERATED SCHOOLS
2160 S. Cook St.
Denver, Colorado, 80210
Phone: 303-758-2003, 1-800-SCHOOL3
Fax: 303-757-4336
10713 Barkley,
Overland Park, Kansas, 66212
Phone: 913-341-6666
Copyright© 2004.
All Rights Reserved.